I have been trying to finish this post for a long time now, about 2 months ago to be exact just a few days after the Lake Tahoe Olympic Triathlon date. That didn't happened as planned as I was scared to write and had a lot of emotions attached to it that made harder to write than I was expecting.
I decided to leave the parts that I started to write as soon as I came back from the trip and finished just a few days ago.
It is crazy to think that this day came so fast. A day that I have been training and getting ready for a long time. I've learned so much about determination and auto motivation. Had to say NO many times to things that I would never would, like spending time with my family and friends, along with many other things... but it was all worth it.
Training for this triathlon got me ready for life, I would say. Made me realize how capable I am to do something I really put my heart into it... I wasn't doing that for anyone else rather than myself.
After having some situations in my past that changed my confidence level, I did things to my body and soul that I was not to happy about (like partying to much and always judging the figure I would see in the mirror), so a few years back I decided to change that pattern and found that this types of races was a great way to get me motivated for a specific goal and keep me on track to make it happen.
Since my first race, a lot has changed. My first ever 5K race I missed it, I missed it because I got drunk the night before and didn't hear the alarm. I lied to myself and to my family saying that I was to tired from working so much (which was true for trying to make a living, but not enough excuse to miss the race). Bullshit, I messed it up... all on me.
After that petty situation, things started to change. I stared to be more aware of my actions and started to make little changes in my life.
Signed up for another race (half marathon = 13.1 miles) and really sticked to the plan. The sensation of crossing the finish line was something I never experienced in my life before. I would not consider myself competitive or up for something so physical like that in my young life, I was actually the lazy overweight type of girl, that kind of girl that would find any excuse or reason not to do anything active possible, completely different of who I am today. Things started to change when I found the love for dancing ( I started to dance HipHop and made into some National Championships) in my late teenager years and after being marry to an Army boy that thought me to run in the middle of the woods, active lifestyle started to be part of my day to day life. I started to enjoy to go for runs and clear my mind, seeing the affect of the runner's high in my everyday life and the accomplishment feeling when you cross the finish line... it is so incredible and it fills my soul with joy to the fullest!
Proud to say that since my first Half Marathon, I know have a couple medals (2 half marathons, 3 marathons and 1 50 kilometers ultra marathon) and always seeking for a new adventure.
That said, I was on track on getting ready for this Olympic Triathlon or thought I was, better said. I was not. I drove all the way to Lake Tahoe for the race with my folks (mom and dad), stoping along the way and seeting camp a few miles away from the race start line. The weather was in perfect condition and I felt ready.
The next day from our arrival and the day before of the race, we decided to go for a road trip around the lake to enjoy the beautiful scenery and take my mind away from over thinking about the next day: the race day. As we are driving, we drove by the bike route and the road was a narrow, steep, sharp turns and cliff edges.
While training for the big day, I saw the road by the GPS map of the race and all, but driving by it and really seeing with my bare eyes made me question it. I was not ready for that. I was doing this race as a rookie, in the sense that I was doing this race with a regular bike and with the urge in my core to finish. Driving by the bike route I felt in my gut that I would hurt myself really bad. I got scared. I got really scared. For me at that point, was not a smart decision to try to prove anything to myself or anybody else.
It sucked balls to call it quits... I was really upset and mad about all of it for a "second", but then I had to talk to myself and take this situation as a big learning curve than to beat myself up, and I did. I took the experience in consideration and the journey getting me closer to my goal was phenomenal. Gives me goosebumps just thinking about all the feelings that crossed my mind and the switch on my thoughts about it all.
On race day, I went for a long run instead and jumped in the lake to feel the water run trough my body and energize myself for the next step of my life. I have been going through a lot of personal changes and everything that it is coming into my life path it is to show me something and it is leading me to the best version of myself. I am molding myself with tough times, with hard work, with loving family and friends, with eros and accurate tries, with road trips and camping times, with cooking experiences...
Life pull tricks on you all the time, it's how we face this bumps and move forward that makes the difference. Do your best always, but be okay if it doesn't go the way you were planning on it... shit happens, lol!